Okay, this is a big recipe. Big in calories and will fill your stomach so you lay like a tick about to pop.
Grandma Hellin Brown didn't cook much, she certainly didn't get the generous cooking gene like Aunt Olive or Aunt Dorothy (who made a killer pan steak with gravy). But she did make a few and I mean, few, memorable foods. One was Shit on Toast which is basically cream of something soup and tuna fish on toast. Literally. I thought Joey was going to throw up when she served it to us but it wasn't so bad and we were starving.
Anyways, the Sunday dinner with her gravy noodles and roast were pretty great when she was in a rare good mood and nobody was insulted. That we know of. WELL. I made the good list the day I asked for her recipe. She liked me for a few weeks and sent me THREE typed pages of this recipe which I will put here. Typed on her typewriter IN ALL CAPS LIKE SHE IS SHOUTING AT ME.
It looks long but reality it's not. Grandma Brown (like me) is long winded and went into great detail on how to make this. You guys might remember me making this for special occasions. Well damn, the noodles are awesome. Even a few days later, the leftovers are fantastic. Making the noodles got easier for me when I got the Atlas noodle machine with the hand crank.
A few notes: start the meat first. Start the mashed potatoes. Then make the noodles. Keep the noodles floured well or they will stick together. Chill after making them so they don't melt to goo. When putting them in the pot only add a small handful at a time, stirring well after each addition so they don't clump together like giant turds. Save the broth from the boiled potatoes, you'll need it for the gravy.
So without further babbling, here is it. Gerandma Berowns Noodles n Meat. And I'm not typing it in all caps. That's just damned annoying. So put your jeweled sandals on, get your cocktail ready in one hand and cigarette in another and let's go, Grandma Brown style.
Page 1
Homemade Noodles
Break 2 eggs in a medium mixing bowl, mix and beat either with mixer, rotary beater or with form until they are light in color and foamy. Lay the mixer aside.
Measure (estimate) about 3 cups of flour using 1 cup to flour cutting board or table. The other 2 cups (maybe 1 1/2) is to be added gradually to well beaten eggs beating after each addition smooth. The dough will get so stiff that you cannot mix with fork anymore, then you have to knead with hands on the floured board. Knead about 15 to 20 times or until there is not anymore sticky dough using flour on board. It will seem rather hard and tough. Cut dough in two parts, laying aside one part.
Sprinkle flour overhalf to be rolled using a floured rolling pin or smooth tall glass if no rolling pin available. Keep rolling pin lightly floured at all times so dough won't stick to it. Press down with rolling pin and start in each direction, sort of forming a circle of dough. It must be rolled with pressure making it thinner than pie crust. Keep using bits of flour under edges to make sure it doesn't stick to board.
After it is rolled as thin as can be, cut through the center and lay one half on top of other. Make about two more length wise cuts and stack those on top of each other making a stack of 5 or 6 layers could be 5 or 6 inches long and 2 or 3 inches wide. Start cutting crossways with a sharp knife using a seesaw motion and not pressing down. When a slice of noodles are cut swish them aside with your knife out of the way and to dry. I forgot to say that you are now making the width of your noodles so make that slice as narrow as possible. Make sure the noodles are lightly dusted with flour. Sometimes after they are cut I pull them apart but this takes valuable time, and if they are floured they should separate while cooking. they also tend to thicken when cooking so the thinner and narrower the better! Set noodles aside to dry a little, maybe an hour if you have the time. Roll out the half the same way, cut and flour!
Page 2
Take meat from oven and put on platter or servinch plate and cover with foil or wax paper or llid if available, to keep warm. Now come the momentos decisions: how much liquid to add and does it need more salt.... if you are cooking potatoes a half a cup of that water would give good flavor, or maybe cup of water would do it. Itf too much is added it takes away flavor so it sort of depends how much broth was lost in cooking. The noodles should be covered with liquid to cook evenly. Put the broth back on the stove and heat to the boiling point, then very gently add noodles with a fork a few at a time or very carefully with your hands stirring frequently also while cooking as they may stick to bottom of pan. Turn fire down to a simmer and cook for at least 20 minutes.
Now 4 important checks:
1. Enough Liquid
2. Taste for salt, can still add a shake or two & mix in
3. Turn fire down and stir frequently
4. Cook as directed above at least 20 minutes.
GOOD LUCK!
Page 3
Preparation of meat for home made noodles
Roast beef 3 lbs or more
Rinse off and trim fat and bone if on the outside edge and easy to get to . Sprinkle some tenderizer on both sides along with 1 or 2 teaspoons of choy and worchestershire sauces. Let stand for at least a half hour, longer if possible. This is called marinating.
Put about 3 cups of water in roasting pan. Sprinkle a little flour on roast and gently put roast in pan. Water should almost cover top of roast to start. No additional salt is necessary if tenderizer and marinating mixes are used. Cover and put in oven set at 350 degrees for about a half hour and then turn back to 300 degrees. Keep checking to see if cooking okay and at the same time water almost up to level of meat as this is makes the broth the noodles will be cooked in.
When meat is tender remove from pot and cover to keep warm. It is now time to decide how much additional liquid is needed for the amount of noodles to cook. Try about a cup and if possible a half cup of potato water. If there isn't enough broth the noodles will stick together and then you will have dumplings. Or if not enough broth try by taste as to how much liquid to add, it might be a good idea to let the noodles dry and then store in refrigerator loosely and uncovered and use later in chicken broth. They will keep ok for a week or so. And make beef gravy instead. Or maybe use only half of noodles. Taste broth for seasoning. It might need a bit more salt. All amounts are estimated or guess work and I never measure any of this recipe so use your own judgement.
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